So after a long cold night on the beach it was time for nice hot food!
I had spotted a fish and chip shop not more than 5 minutes from where the carpark was, so we headed in that direction.
I was aghast at the menu prices, they were well over the odds in my opinion! £1.50 for a portion of chips, and £2.50 for large. The fishcake was £1.20 for gods sake, in Bristol they are 60p.
So I decided on 2 fishcakes and chips after getting agreement from the Governor of the Bank of England and awaited to be served! Alas the woman in front of me with two ankle biters had one of the fish cakes! This was a quandry, to wait for another, or alternate choice…. so I went with the option of 1 fishcake and large chips (even if it was nearly £4!!!!!!).
So having seen the man dish out the womans food I was well aversed in what a small portion of chips was like! He then said "Do you want salt and vinegar on the large chips..?", well Neil answered for me as I was gobsmacked at the pathetic pile of chips that was pretending to be a large (£2.50 remember!) portion! Then the fishcake went on top and I answered yes to more salt and vinegar, bearing in mind I hadn’t watched the first lot as I was still computing being ripped off!
Neil’s were dished up, looking the same as mine! So when we went outside I compared portions and decided to do what us Brits never do, go back and complain!
"excuse me mate, this is not a large portion of chips, its the same as my mates! These are a £1 more!" I said
"i can assure you they are" he said, "they are just spread out differently"
At this point I could of done one of two things, piss myself laughing, or lose it! I went with plan A, and said "you have got to be joking, spread about differently! These are £1 more, and exactly the same as my mates!"
So he eventually offered up the remainder of the "large" portion of chips! I returned to the car to eat them, and suddenly realised why Neil had called me crazy or something similar for getting extra salt and vinegar on the fishcake!
The chips were encrusted with salt, and the fishcake looked like a doughnut! We ploughed through them, drinking for England (alas only had 2 cans between us!). Luckily I had opted to leave the shop without extra salt and vinegar on my top up portion!
Both mine and Neil’s lips were dry and cracking! I couldn’t stop drinking that day, and when I woke up the next morning I could hardly swallow, let alone prise my shrivelled lips apart!
So if you want a superb portion of fish and chips, with less than the 6g’s of salt allowed per day, I suggest you go elsewhere otherwise for 1970’s salt portions at 2070 prices goto to Daniel’s Fish & Chips (http://www.danielsfishandchips.co.uk/portland.html)
Good luck if you do!